Poo Ket FantaSea

We came to Phuket to enjoy the beaches and just relax. Unfortunately, the weather has not cooperated. We did mange to relax a bit.

Since the weather was rainy, we decided to attend Phuket FantaSea.

We were told that the show was great and there was a lot to see there. The ticket price included a buffet dinner. A no lose situation.

The buffet ended up being very poor. The “lots to see” ended up being booths upon booths of tacky souvenirs while being incessantly orally assaulted by the theme park song “Phuket Fantasea”. The show was interesting but about 15 years out of date in technology and the performing elephants were sad to watch. Tigers in concrete cages didn’t help either. Danipou and I were stunned to see the dolls below on sale in many souvenir booths.

The most fun we had was teasing a certain person about having to visit every restroom we passed (alas the poor buffet food). The tacky attraction park theme song became “Poo Ket FantaSea” much to the delight of the 2 unaffected tourists. Singing it became the biggest amusement (or pain in the ass) of the night, depending on who you were . It shows just how great Phuket Fantasea was when our main enjoyment came from another person’s sickness.

The next day we went to Phi Phi Island, a must see while in Phuket. We spent 2 hours in a minivan and 5 hours on a boat with motion sickness passengers (“Poo Ket Fantasea” now became “Puke Ket FantaSea”) so that I could spend 45minutes snorkelling in very plain waters and 1 hour shopping in a market full of souvenir stands.

The moral of the story is not to expect what you didn’t expect. Phuket is known for its beaches, why did we expect anything more. Or perhaps a better moral of the story is you have to make your own fun. I am certain “Poo Ket Fantasea” will be one of those songs you just can’t get out of your head for your entire life, at least for 2 of us.

Chaing Mae, Thailand

Like a person looking at the aftermath of a car crash, I can’t help but check out the zoos in Asia. The animals are always malnourished, filthy and living in inappropriate cages; yet I pay to go see them in every country I visit. The most disappointing was in Japan where the zoo looked like it was in a third world country.

Yesterday, we went on an elephant ride and I prepared myself for a tourist trap with half dead elephants in small enclosures.

What a pleasant surprise. The elephants were healthy and very well looked after. The park was beautiful. I couldn’t speak with the elephants but I got the feeling that maybe some of them would actually tell me they preferred living here more than in the wild.

Our ride lasted about an hour; we went through the bush and into two lakes. Our elephant was 51 years old so we could sympathise together about our advanced years.

At the end of the ride I was already a little attached to “my” elephant.

Bangkok, Thailand

We are back in Bangkok, Thailand, traveling with my sister-in-law. Here are some photos and my thoughts.

We went to a show called the “Calypso” where all the performers were “LadyBoys”. All the singing was lip-synced but the performance was wonderful. My guidebook says they have a lonely, sad life. My sister-in-law’s guidebook says they lead a happy life. I guess no matter what sex you are or aren’t, people will always label you they way they want to.

We went to the grand palace once again. This time we had a wonderful guide named Mac who was excellent. It showed that he loved his job as he was always giving us great information about every question we asked.

The floating market was a lot of fun even if it should be renamed the “tourist market”. Other than the food for sale nothing else was fit for Thais. I couldn’t resist buying this wonderful plate with the image of a King. I also bought a plate that someone didn’t want as blackmail material for the future.

Our tour said it would take us on a one-hour train ride on the “bridge over the river Kwai track”. We ended up taking a 3-hour minivan ride to the “bridge” for a 10 minute photo op and a 20 minute JEATH museum tour. On the way back to the hotel our guide, a Ms. Wanna (more appropriately nicknamed “don’t Wanna”) carjacked us to a Gem wholesaler where she would get a commission for each sale. Over all, we spent a half hour sightseeing, 6 hours traveling and 1-hour captive in a gem store.

The most interesting temple we have visited so far, the tiger temple. We had no idea there were actual tigers there but were informed once we arrived that they have only 107 of them. We thought Mac had a sense of humour when he kept telling us not to wear red or yellow clothing. The staff gave us a 5-minute speech on the do’s and don’ts of playing with tigers.  To convey this same message to the 4 deaf young men with us they patted my wife’s head and shook they finger back and forth in a negative gesture. I guess this is why we have seen no deaf Thai’s, they have all been eaten by tigers.

 

 

Bangkok Boat Cruise

We went on a boat cruise while in Bangkok. One of the entertainers lip synced a Céline Dion tune and I hate to admit it but I found her/him more attractive than Céline. Anyways, you can’t deny the singer has a better booty than Céline.

Photos from Thailand

Last week we were in Thailand for a few days. What a wonderful place. The people are very polite and helpful. The drivers respect the traffic signals and rarely honk their horns. Here are some photos of the trip.

When Liebling is attending a conference in a country, I always visit the aquarium by myself. This Bangkok aquarium is on the bottom 2 floors of an immense shopping centre. I got to the stingray feeding presentation 10 minutes early to grab a seat. Once the show started passersby crowded in front of the aquarium blocking the view of the people that had waited patiently for the show to start. The “blockers” were asked to move only to be replaced by new passersby. This lady stood there the whole time, sometimes watching the crowd, sometimes watching the show. I would bet my life she is Chinese.My father, God bless him, comes up with the weirdest ways to reuse things. Sounds good except when you us 3 different colours of vinyl siding on your backyard shed to save money. One of his ideas when we were kids was gutting an old Admiral TV and turning it into a Gerbil cage. The real TV sat on top of it but most people just watched the Gerbils jumping around inside this immense box with plastic screen (tells you something about the quality of prime time tv). The speaker vent on the side was cut out and a small cage put there. The Gerbils would jump into it all the time and look out. The neighborhood kids thought it was great but my mom didn’t appreciate having her curtains eaten by rodents. Seems like someone at the aquarium went to the Lutz School of Industrial Art. They also had a converted fridge with the door open and fish swimming around inside.We took the bus to the Grand Palace. Check out the wood floors and driver on the right hand side. It seems buses are free in Thailand as we were never asked to pay when we used it and never saw anyone else pay either.These guys if I remember correctly are holding up the emperor. There are many of them all around the platform. Made from ceramic. My dad now has a use for all the scrap tiles he has been collecting.The lying Buddha. The longest Buddha in the world at 43 meters. Guards at the Grand Palace. Half female, half lion, as if women were not dangerous enough in their real form. Now I finally understand what my friends mean when they say they are going out for “Cougars”, although why they would want a half woman/cougar is beyond me. Someone called Liebling a “silver fox” the other day but I still can’t find her tail.You see the most amazing things while traveling. You would think after meditating all day a Monk would be happy to stand up and stretch his legs but apparently this is not so. Not sure why you need a sign to tell people to give up their seat for a Monk. I need all the saving I can get and would fight off people to give a Monk my seat. Think about it though, can’t they just sit on the floor?Not sure how this lady got her cell phone out of her purse or how she could actually use it but she did. Personally, if I took her out on a date I would be terrified the entire time.